We all compare, but how do we overcome?

1. Constrain

Limiting social media use is one of the most important tools to constrain the amount of comparison we experience. Anything from setting daily goals for how often you log on to specific apps or setting time limits are valuable. Identify what apps, news sources or people bring up the most comparison in your life.

The amount of time you spend on social media is important but equally important is how you are using that time. At the end of the day social media is simply a tool, a means to an end.

Using moderation and identifying a goal in your social media use is going to be the best alternative. Mitch Prinstein, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina finds that being assertive with how you use media platforms is key.

He suggests that instead of passive scrolling, send private messages, talk about shared experiences, seek genuine emotional connection, and use social media in general to “foster the kind of relationships known to be valuable offline.”

2. Conscious Comparison

Not all comparison is negative. There are two main types of comparison, upward and downward comparison. Decades of research suggest that upward comparison can provoke motivation and effort; comparing yourself to someone who slightly outperforms them have higher grades.

Choose your comparison consciously. Don’t get caught up in comparing your circumstances to success you view as unattainable.

3. Count Your Blessings

What you focus on has a big impact on your thoughts and confidence. If you focus on the good things in your life, you’re less likely to obsess about what you lack.

Take an attitude of gratitude to keep things in perspective. There’s so much to be grateful for simply choosing to see it could change your attitude.

4. Compare Yourself to…Yourself

Evaluating yourself is the most profitable form of evaluation. It provides for the most accurate and beneficial comparison. You can see where you’ve progressed and where you can improve in an accurate and beneficial way.

Sonja Lyubormirsky, a psychologist at the University of California, Riverside and the author of The How of Happiness notes that people who compare themselves interally are also less likely to let upward comparison affect their self-esteem, and instead stay focused on their own improvement.  “A happy runner compares himself to his last run, not to others who are faster.”

5. Content

Your emotions are impacted by comparison. You generate feelings of envy, disappointment, and despair when you let comparison controle you. Instead, admire and appreciate other people and cultivate joy for their success.