In a world where followers, likes and feeds seem like the defining points of a person’s worth, you don’t have to take the bait.
Comparison is a natural impulse, there is no way to completely avoid comparison. In addition, there are different forms of comparison, upwards and downwards. Upward comparison can be positive in many ways. Benefits range anywhere from increased motivation, being more grateful for what you have or narrowing your focus when comparing yourself to others.
Understanding how to navigate the waters of comparison, the effects and tendencies it leads to, are essential.
Who we compare ourselves to are those we most closely identify with as well as those within our personal orbit. People outside of our personal orbits such as Bill Gates or the homeless are not so easily compared. Rather we compare to that of our family members, friends, colleagues, and neighbors and based on our findings evaluate ourselves. How do we rank in appearance, relationships, wealth, professional achievement, are often at the front of our comparison.
This tendency to compare is amplified to extreme and unhealthy heights by the improper use of social media. An important factor to remember is that social media is a tool, how we use it determines it’s value.
When social media stirs up negative comparison and consequentially feelings of inadequacy, there are some proactive steps to take. You can eliminate apps and deactivate accounts, even unfollowing people who routinely lead to downward comparison can be steps in the right direction. Programs like Moment or StayFocused track how much time you spend on social media and encourage or force you to log off depending on the settings.
But ultimately comparison is a natural human function. So when you encounter it just know, you have the ability to deal with it how you wish. The ultimate block against negative comparison is to have a stable sense of self. Knowing who you are, what you stand for and letting those factors remain unchanging when compared to others.
You don’t have to take the bait, choose wisely.
Elizabeth Beeli 