I have a theory.

The happiest people are the most vulnerable.

Now, this may seem like an uncomfortable statement because many of us think we dislike vulnerability.

Vulnerability is a) admitting weakness b) and often ask for help, both of which can be uncomfortable.

However, I actually think we love the action of vulnerability, being open and transparent, but we are often afraid of what will happen if people see our vulnerability.

This is an important distinction.

Because connection, our relationships with others, is one of the primary things we seek, we fear If people see that I’m not good enough, I’m not thin enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promotable enough, fill in the blank enough, being vulnerable and allowing other people to see that will result in a lack of worthiness.

Put simply, we that our weaknesses will disqualify us as unworthy of connection.

This is a false dichotomy.

In order to really connect, we must be vulnerable.

At this point, you have a choice to be vulnerable or numb the fear of vulnerability.

People often take the later route. We numb things by trying to make the appearance perfect, open any social media.

We numb by methods of mixed drinks and self-medication.

But numbing is not a selective practice.

When you numb feelings of vulnerability you also numb feelings of joy, love, and happiness.

Although vulnerability can be difficult, facing the fear of what others may think, is also the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging and love.

So how can we start being vulnerable?

It starts with a belief that you are worthy of love and belonging.

Here’s the trick, those who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging.

That’s it.

Being vulnerable, realizing there is nothing you can do to be enough – that your shortcomings do not make you any more or less worthy, allows you to stop screaming and start listening – to be kinder and gentler to those around you and yourself.

I’m advocating for you to fully embrace vulnerability.

Vulnerability does not need to be either excruciating or comfortable, but it remains a necessity.

Understanding and fully embracing vulnerability will be the knight that slays the dragon of comparison.

Many thoughts here inspired by this TED talk on being vulnerable.