“Not one person attributes their joy, success, or feelings of enough to being perfect.”

– Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW, Author of Daring Greatly

One of my good friends, Lydia Weibel, sent me the book “Daring Greatly” and I haven’t been to put it down.

The author, Brene Brown, discusses perfection, and I’ve highlighted my favorite take aways below.

“…what I’ve heard over is one clear message: “The most valuable and important things in my life came to me when I cultivated the courage to be vulnerable, imperfect, and self-compassionate.”

Perfectionism is not the path that leads us to our gifts and to our sense of purpose; it’s the hazardous detour.

She defines perfectionism as: not striving for excellence, nor is it about healthy achievement and growth.

Perfection is a defensive move. It’s the belief that if we do things perfectly and look perfect we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around, thinking it will protect us when in fact it’s preventing us from being seen.

Perfectionism is not self-improvement, at its core it’s about earning approval.

I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it.

In contrast, healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: what will they think?

Because of this destructive thinking research shows that perfectionism hampers achievement, and is correlated with depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.

Carol Dweck, who so beautifully identified the growth mindset vs the fixed mindset is the perfect compliment to the book “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown. Leaning into improvement what empowers you to take risk, grow, and strive for more in a healthy way.