Specifically, in the U.S. we’ve been inundated with a craving so strong I would classify it as an addiction. No matter the background you come from, no matter the education you get, this issue is prevalent across the board. The addiction is to live what appears to be a permanently happy life. I’m not here to tell you that Disneyland is actually the evilest place on earth but I do believe that Disneyland is proof of a serious problem. Our country is obsessed with happiness, to the point of addiction.

Here’s the truth. When I was around the age of 5, I was obsessed with food. I’m talking Garfield the incredibly overweight fictional cartoon cat level of obsession. This obsession led to an erosion of my morals, I would wake up in the middle of the night, go to the kitchen and eat some of my favorite treats. I was a food ninja at age 5, impressive I know. However, this obsession put stress on my relationships since I was breaking my families rules and disobeying my parents. Now of course food has some benefits, it tastes good, it’s visually aesthetic and happens to be vital for your survival. But being obsessed with food leads to poor health and mental instability.

Analogous to the negative effects of an obsession with food, the constant pursuit of permanent happiness will result in negative emotions, constantly dissatisfied, restlessness, and a truly miserable life. The illusion of permanent happiness is destructive because it portrays a utopia as attainable, which it’s not.

Everything in moderation There are benefits to being positive,  often it’s a catalyst for our self-confidence, and overcoming obstacles. But happiness isn’t always the right emotion. As a matter of fact, pathological gamblers often fall prey to such illusion of permanent happiness. They believe that if they adhere to a happy emotion they can improve their chances of winning. What’s more, psychologist Barbara Fredrickson found that when we experience too much positive emotion—and too little negative emotion—it makes our mental flexibility unable to cope with new challenges. When pursuing permanent happiness our psychological flexibility turns brittle.

It’s the sad days that allow us to empathize. The mistakes that show us how to improve. And the struggles that make the victory. What we should be striving for is an emotional balance. When happiness is viewed as the ultimate superior emotion all others seem to lose their value. This obsession makes all negative thoughts that enter your head an imposter, something to hide and be ashamed of. The true value of negative emotions is lost and we immediate medicate what feelings are vital to our lives, instead as signs of depression or illness.

Are you able to understand the why behind your emotions instead of muffling them? If we discard narcissism, constantly focusing on making ourselves happy, for altruism, caring for others, we will be much more fulfilled than the pursuit of happiness could ever make us. Be grateful for what you have, the good and the bad. True happiness is fostering kindness toward others and yourself.