There is no trap that is more deadly than those we create ourselves.

In the book The Power Of Habit, the author Charles Duhigg lays out the basic framework of a habit.

First, there is a cue, say getting off from a long day at the office, then you have the action, maybe scrolling through Facebook, and finally, you have the reward, in this case, dopamine, which is released when recieving notifications, alerts and messages.

This basic framework of a habit brings two important insights to mind. It’s easy to fall into habits, and it’s important to make the habits you have beneficial.

Comparison is a habit.

Here is how to break it.

1. Moderation

“Limit time on social media, but more important is how that time is used,” says Mitch Prinstein, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina. As I’ve mentioned before setting a limit on how many times you get on a certain social media platform, specifically the ones you spend the majority of your time on, is a practical and amazing habit. This helps prevent mindless scrolling and creates direct purposeful and even productive habits.

2. Consciously Admire

Comparing yourself to someone who slightly outperforms you can provoke motivation and effort. However, it’s important that your comparison is to a realistic goal. Identifying the difference between fact and fiction is getting harder and harder. So as a good principle set your goal on something attainable, something you actually want and someone who isn’t miles above you but maybe just a few steps.

3. Acquire a Spirit of Gratitude

Focus on the have not the have not. I recently stumbled upon Loretta Breuning, author of Habits of a Happy Brain, recommends “conscious downward comparison.” Compare yourself to your ancestors.  “You don’t have to drink water full of microbes. You don’t have to tolerate violence on a daily basis. It’ll remind you that despite some frustrations, you have a fabulous life.” Cultivate joy for the simple sunrises, friendships and easily brushed over blessings.

4. You are competing with yourself

At the end of they day being better than the you that you were yesterday is the most important goal. Sonja Lyubormirsky, a psychologist at the University of California, Riverside and the author of The How of Happiness notes that “people who are happy use themselves for internal evaluation.” It’s not that they don’t notice upward comparisons, she says, but they don’t let that affect their self-esteem, and they stay focused on their own improvement.  “A happy runner compares himself to his last run, not to others who are faster.”