Reconsider How You Revert

Do you revert to certain behaviors in different environments?

Are they positive or simply routine?

For example, I find that when in an environment around my family I have a habit of being significantly more vocal of criticism.

I don’t see this as a positive.

As someone who is actively pursuing becoming a slave to good habits, a change of action seemed imperative.

In “The Power Of Habit” by Charles Duhigg, which I’ve written about before here, details the core elements of a habit, shown below:

Cue – In the example of my family, a cue would be behavior I view as undesirable.

Routine – Verbal expression of criticism. (It’s worth noting that this is with a much more demeaning tone of voice then I think is necessary.)

Reward – Feeling heard.

The key to changing habits is to identify the reward and find a different routine to achieve the same reward. This is often trickier than we think. The reward in the above example is feeling heard, which was not initially obvious.

To changed my habit and achieve the same result see the below.

Cue – Behavior I view as undesirable.

Routine – Saying “I have some feedback, when would be a good time to share that with you?”

Reward – If they say not now, I respect that knowing that I’ve vocalized that I have feedback whether they want to hear it or not, if they say now is a good time I share it then.

The core reason for giving feedback is so the person can improve and change for the better, but that is not the reward I feel because it often takes a long time for people to change. So maybe the above habit is entirely in the wrong vein, something that’s worth considering. Food for thought on another post.

What habits do you revert to?

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.

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