I don’t like to repeat myself. Do you?

When someone asks you to repeat what you said it often implies they didn’t hear you, or worse that they simply did not listen.

What does it mean to listen?

This question demands a distinction between different forms of listening, active and passive.

If you want to be a better communicator you must be willing to actively listen.

 

• Seek to understand. It’s easy to think we know exactly what the person is talking about and immediately diagnose the problem. To actively listen means to hear and let them communicate what they think is the problem.
• Give it five minutes. If you find yourself disagreeing with someone but you don’t have a lot of knowledge on the topic do not be quick to disagree. Consider and evaluate their view for 5 minutes to prevent jumping to conclusions.
• Be engaged. To actively listen means that you are involved and engaged in their communication. They bring up their favorite ice cream and you ask if they’ve ever tried that same flavor in frozen yogurt form. Show interest and respect by being engaged.

Active listening is a form of communication. When you actively listen you communicate respect. You are respecting the opinion of the person speaking to you, even if you disagree.

People like to be respected and they will like you for actively listening and respecting them.

It amazes me how many people, including myself, can be very poor listeners. Active listening is how we understand, empathize and communicate with each other, which are qualities we could all use a little more of.