By forgiving those who wounded us, we are NOT saying that “it didn’t matter” or “what happened didn’t hurt me.”
It mattered, deeply.
But as long as we refuse to forgive we remain the other persons prisoner and they will continue to hurt us.
I remember when I was reading Nonviolent Communication and thinking wow letting someone MAKE you angry is giving them a lot of power. So why would you let someone continue to hold that over you?
For myself, when I forget that not forgiving them is hurting me more then it hurts them I’m buying into the lie prohibiting forgiveness.