The opposite of humility is insecurity.

Being insecure, or unaware, of who you are is a very dangerous thing.

It gives power to the people around you to speak identity over you.

A privilege that should not be reserved for them.

Brené Browns and Carol Dweck, two phenomenal researchers, do a great job of distinguishing the action from defining the person.

When Brenés’ daughter makes a mess during arts and crafts at preschool and her teacher comments “You are a mess” she quickly replies with “I am not a mess, I made a mess.”

Subconsciously we often adopt the “I am ___” depending on what those around us are communicating. For example, if someone overheard me make a statement that soon after turned around to be wrong, I could choose to adopt the belief that I am not intelligent and can’t be trusted. This leads us to continue to act in a way that seeks our identity from others.

I will do x so they think x of me, because that’s how I get my identity.

When you read this logic it seems obvious that we should not act this away. But this is a daily agreement to make with yourself.