The opposite of humility is insecurity.
Being insecure, or unaware, of who you are is a very dangerous thing.
It gives power to the people around you to speak identity over you.
A privilege that should not be reserved for them.
When Brenés’ daughter makes a mess during arts and crafts at preschool and her teacher comments “You are a mess” she quickly replies with “I am not a mess, I made a mess.”
Subconsciously we often adopt the “I am ___” depending on what those around us are communicating. For example, if someone overheard me make a statement that soon after turned around to be wrong, I could choose to adopt the belief that I am not intelligent and can’t be trusted. This leads us to continue to act in a way that seeks our identity from others.
I will do x so they think x of me, because that’s how I get my identity.
When you read this logic it seems obvious that we should not act this away. But this is a daily agreement to make with yourself.