If someone forgives you of a financial debt there is no expectation of repayment.
Similar is the formula of forgiveness for other hurts.
Some expectations I’ve had when forgiving previously:
Expectation that they would change
Expectation that they would ask me for forgiveness
Expectation that they would acknowledge the hurt
Very simply, forgiveness is:
- Identifying what they took
- Removing expectations of repayment
Whenever I learn about forgiveness I find it incredibly helpful to identify what forgiveness is not:
Trust
Believing what they did wasn’t a big deal
Reconciliation
Relationship go back to normal
Saying it didn’t matter
Saying you aren’t angry
Avoiding healthy boundaries
Changing the way you interact with them
You can be angered at what happened, never have things go back to how they were before, and forgive someone for an enormous debt.
Forgiveness means releasing your expectations and any contingency for forgiveness.
Photo by Alexander Ant on Unsplash.
Elizabeth Beeli 