Today, I’m 21.

And I can truthfully say I’m not seeking something to provide fulfillment.

I’m the most content and joyful I’ve ever been in my life.

And yet, looking at my external circumstances, there hasn’t been a drastic change this past year.

I live in the same place.

I drive the same car.

My room hasn’t changed, and my air-fryer is still used daily.

So what happened?

I realized that in order to grow I needed to embrace vulnerability.

This also translated to having grace for myself while deliberately facing past hurt, trauma, and fear.

This process of healing is not linear, it often feels like there are many steps backwards followed by just a few steps forward, has been a long time in the making, and is by no means over.

It started with a book suggestion, leading to a good discussion with friends and family, a heart transformation, starting a ministry, unpacking my childhood, continuously running to God, learning how to grieve and forgive, seeking the council of wise friends, being reminded to have grace for myself, starting therapy, and understanding how to align my life with my values to become the person I want to be.

I’m content.

I find joy in spreading Christ’s love to those around me and seeing people smile.

Reflecting on 21 years propels me to action.

I am deliberately crafting the story the rest of my life will tell.

Are you?