A Simple Practice To Improve Everyday Life

Chris Voss discusses detaching from the outcome in his book “Never Split The Difference.”

It’s one of the keys that grounds him while in volatile hostage negotiations.

Detaching from the outcome is a combination of Stephen Covey’s principle seek first to understand then to be understood and setting healthy boundaries.

Meaning, once you’ve understood someone and tried to communicate yourself if they choose to ignore what you said, respect their freedom to choose differently than you.

Detaching doesn’t mean approval, or that you can’t grieve when someone inflicts avoidable pain.

It means you respect their right to choose and after you’ve understood them and tried to present some additional information and they choose something you wouldn’t have you let it go.

The outcome, whether good or bad, does not rule as king over your relationship.

This is a skill, you can practice it and get better over time, applicable not just to negotiation or business interactions but in everyday life.

Photo by Gleb Lucky on Unsplash.

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