How To Spot And Stop Unhealthy Internal Criticism

“All forms of emotional abuse play into our human fears of rejection, abandonment, unworthiness, shame, and vulnerability.”

– Paula Durlofsky, PhD, Psychologist

Emotional abuse is not something you typically think of originating from within.

It’s something mean people on the internet, or that one kid in high school, or, unfortunately, family and friends do.

However, over the past year I’ve become more and more aware that the worst critic and danger to your emotional health is none other than, yourself.


– No one else cares enough to analyze your mistakes as much as you do
– No one else has been around for all your failures, both external and internal, except you

This awareness of failure becomes additionally dangerous when you add a lack of understanding on how to build a healthy sense of self and identify unhealthy tendencies which are likely modeled around you constantly.

So, how to reigning in this criticism kraken?

Step one, and what we will solely be focused on for this article is, educate.

There are four common types of emotional abuse which are:

Stonewalling – Silent treatment until you get what you want. Minimizing, disengaging, and refusing to see the other persons perspective.

Emotional withholding – Withholding love and affection to communicate anger.

Twisting – Victim confronts abuser who twists facts to place blame on victim, instead, demanding apology from victim.

Trivialize accomplishments – Minimize achievements and milestones.

How many of these have you personally done to yourself in the past 24 hours?

Spot emotional abuse to stop emotional abuse.

Photo by Jayson Hinrichsen on Unsplash.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Jeff says:

    Never thought of it that way! Brilliant insight!


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