I’m guilty.

Guilty of trying to be ‘relatable’ or make meaningless conversation by trying to say things I thought other people wanted to hear.

Personally, I find I do this most when making small talk.

When you say you loved that movie when you really thought it was awful. When you call yourself fat or make self-deprecating comments because you want others to view you as funny.

Now I don’t have an ultimatum of any kind against directionless conversation.

However, I am strictly opposed to mischaracterizing yourself and tailoring your opinions to be what you suspect your audience wants to hear.

Here’s why it’s a problem.

As cliche as it sounds, what other people think really, doesn’t matter that much.

Making self-deprecating comments and jokes gives others permission to view you that way and even follow along in that similar language.

You’re being dishonest with yourself.

Often what you think people want to hear is wrong.

Your actions follow your words. If you say something to please others while contradicting the principles you stand for it will undermine and dissolve your foundation.

I was at a party a couple months ago and a conversation arose about a movie. People were talking about how much they loved this movie, how if someone hadn’t seen this movie it might be a deal breaker, which was probably what they thought the other people in the conversation wanted to hear. One of my friends commented on how they hadn’t seen the movie and how they had no plans to.

The delivery was not one of harsh critic and superior aloofness, they were simply stating a fact. Instead of pouncing on him like a thousand hungry paranas the group respected his different opinion and moved on.

Realizing your uniqueness, in every aspect but especially your thought, makes you become more of the person you were meant and want to be.